Pondering Peace....?

I have been pondering long today about 'peace'. Our Pastor preached an amazing sermon yesterday on 'peace', and it has me thinking?

I don't think that I am someone who worries outwardly. I tend to keep in tucked neatly away. But recently, I have been feeling fear grip my heart, and cause me to lose sleep. There are three areas that I can identify that are sources of my fear.

Fear of the unknown: I look at the condition of America and our world, and shutter. I think about what my children have to face...what Duane and I have to face. Yeeks!!!
I think about how in less years than I can even imagine, Duane and I will be facing the loss of loved ones, and I can't imagine life without them!
I think of all the things that 'could' happen to my husband and children.

Fear of abandonment: I am learning that this is the one area that drives me to the pit of hopelessness faster than anything! I feel so driven to make sure EVERYONE in my life, is well pleased with me, then they will always 'like' me, and never abandon me. This is an area that is my greatest downfall, because I become consumed with what 'they' think of me, and far less of what God thinks of me. I hear things being said that are not TRUTH, and I feel despair takes root in my heart.

Fear of failure: What if my kids turn out bad? What if I could have been a better wife to Duane? What if I don't keep my house clean enough? What if Lynne could have found a better small group leader? What if I get to the end of my life and find out that I wasn't as good of a friend as I thought I had been? What if my kids go through all 12 years of school and can't figure their fractions or forget their multiplication?? What if I wasn't patient enough...thin enough....disciplined enough???

I know that this is the enemy's way of getting the best of Sheila!
I have spent all my 'driving time' today, praying that God will give me victory over these fears! He has so much more for me than this!

I read again this morning, and decided that I need to post this in a prominent place..."Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you, not as the world gives do I give to you. LET NOT YOUR HEART BE TROUBLED, NEITHER LET IT BE AFRAID." (John 14:27)

Forgive me for spilling my heart out today, but this is where I am...in all my human-ess, asking God to calm the fears, and fill me with His peace.