My View of God

A friend recently asked me this question, "where did your positive view of God come from?" I stumbled through as good of a response as I could come up with at the time, since I really hadn't ever answered that question before, and I was caught off guard.
Just a few hours before, in small group, we had discussed, "How do you view God?"
I believe that it was no coincidence that in one day...this thought came up twice!

My response in small group and to my friend, was, "well, most of my life I have viewed Him as the giant in the story of Jack and the Beanstalk. This gruff, impersonal, frightening God is up in the clouds somewhere, carrying around a big club. And I use this magical, flimsy bean sprout to get up to Him to hopefully get the golden egg.

As a child, my relationship with my earthly father was not a pleasant, loving relationship, and so I never was able to view God as a loving "Father."
Our pastor likened his early views of God to Santa Claus...a jolly, fat man who would sit you on his lap, ask you if you had been a good kid, and then ask you what you wanted. The whole time you are thinking that if you were good enough, he would give you your deepest desire. I really related to this one...that I never could be good enough!

I come across people constantly, who were fortunate enough to believe very early on, that God was loving, and I think, "Wow...looked what I missed?"

It has only been in the last couple of years, that I have gotten very, very serious about pursuing a intimate, fulfilling relationship with God, so therefore I had to rethink, and change my view of Him. I came to a place where I wanted to go beyond the "Dear God, I love you, thank you for my blessings, give me what I want..." Seeing God as a Santa Claus, doesn't make for a mutual, loving relationship.
So, I have been in pursuit of God...there is truth to Jeremiah 29: 13-14, that as long as I am actively searching for Him, He will reveal his Holy Character to me.

Jeremiah 29:11-14
"...I'll show up and take care of you as I promised and bring you back home. I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.
When you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I'll listen. When you come looking for me, you'll find me. Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I'll make sure you won't be disappointed."

When I realized, that although my relationship with my earthly father was not good, I could still relate to God as a Father who could fill the void. What I needed in my earthly father and did not get, the Most High can be all that and abundantly more!

I am finding out so many amazing, beautiful things about God, and these discoveries are making their way into my heart. It is not about how God fits into my life, to be what I think He should be.....it is all about being in relationship "with" Him...continually! It is about me being empty of myself, so that He can fill me.

Finding out that He created me for His delight....I'm still trying to wrap my mind around that one!!
Knowing that there is absolutely nothing-nothing-nothing that can separate me from His abundant love....I don't know how long it will take for me to fully "get" this one???

It's not about finally reaching a destination....it is about being on the journey with Him.

So how do I view God?
He is my Father, who lovingly comforts and guides.
He is my Friend, who never is too busy to listen to the cries of my heart.
He is my Sustainer, who meets me where I am.
He is my Fortress, who shelters me, when "life" threatens to tear me down.
He is Faithful...ALWAYS!

And as I continue to search for Him.....He is so much more!

No more Jack and the Beanstalk or Santa Claus comparisons here...but sincere worship to a Holy God, who wants to be with me! Exodus 29:45..."I will dwell among them....and be their God!"