A rose, by any other name, would smell just as sweet!

I looked out this morning, and this is what I saw...my first rose of the year!

My View of God

A friend recently asked me this question, "where did your positive view of God come from?" I stumbled through as good of a response as I could come up with at the time, since I really hadn't ever answered that question before, and I was caught off guard.
Just a few hours before, in small group, we had discussed, "How do you view God?"
I believe that it was no coincidence that in one day...this thought came up twice!

My response in small group and to my friend, was, "well, most of my life I have viewed Him as the giant in the story of Jack and the Beanstalk. This gruff, impersonal, frightening God is up in the clouds somewhere, carrying around a big club. And I use this magical, flimsy bean sprout to get up to Him to hopefully get the golden egg.

As a child, my relationship with my earthly father was not a pleasant, loving relationship, and so I never was able to view God as a loving "Father."
Our pastor likened his early views of God to Santa Claus...a jolly, fat man who would sit you on his lap, ask you if you had been a good kid, and then ask you what you wanted. The whole time you are thinking that if you were good enough, he would give you your deepest desire. I really related to this one...that I never could be good enough!

I come across people constantly, who were fortunate enough to believe very early on, that God was loving, and I think, "Wow...looked what I missed?"

It has only been in the last couple of years, that I have gotten very, very serious about pursuing a intimate, fulfilling relationship with God, so therefore I had to rethink, and change my view of Him. I came to a place where I wanted to go beyond the "Dear God, I love you, thank you for my blessings, give me what I want..." Seeing God as a Santa Claus, doesn't make for a mutual, loving relationship.
So, I have been in pursuit of God...there is truth to Jeremiah 29: 13-14, that as long as I am actively searching for Him, He will reveal his Holy Character to me.

Jeremiah 29:11-14
"...I'll show up and take care of you as I promised and bring you back home. I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.
When you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I'll listen. When you come looking for me, you'll find me. Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I'll make sure you won't be disappointed."

When I realized, that although my relationship with my earthly father was not good, I could still relate to God as a Father who could fill the void. What I needed in my earthly father and did not get, the Most High can be all that and abundantly more!

I am finding out so many amazing, beautiful things about God, and these discoveries are making their way into my heart. It is not about how God fits into my life, to be what I think He should be.....it is all about being in relationship "with" Him...continually! It is about me being empty of myself, so that He can fill me.

Finding out that He created me for His delight....I'm still trying to wrap my mind around that one!!
Knowing that there is absolutely nothing-nothing-nothing that can separate me from His abundant love....I don't know how long it will take for me to fully "get" this one???

It's not about finally reaching a destination....it is about being on the journey with Him.

So how do I view God?
He is my Father, who lovingly comforts and guides.
He is my Friend, who never is too busy to listen to the cries of my heart.
He is my Sustainer, who meets me where I am.
He is my Fortress, who shelters me, when "life" threatens to tear me down.
He is Faithful...ALWAYS!

And as I continue to search for Him.....He is so much more!

No more Jack and the Beanstalk or Santa Claus comparisons here...but sincere worship to a Holy God, who wants to be with me! Exodus 29:45..."I will dwell among them....and be their God!"

Feathers in the Wind

I am sitting here on this Monday holiday...Duane is working for awhile, and the kids are watching a movie together, so I have a moment of quietness...wow!

I have been thinking and reflecting on a situation that is currently going on in my life, and since this blog is my way of sharing all the ups and downs of my life, I have decided to write about it.

These are my thoughts........
Mean, ugly words are like feathers in the wind! That is the thought that has been rolling around in my head, and it is true. Think about it....when we are angry, we often say things that we wish we hadn't said. No matter their content, when they leave our mouths they are sent in all different directions, never to be gathered back together again. Sometimes, those feathers become like arrows that shatter hearts, and cause pain. Many times I have wanted to take my basket, and try to gather what I said back, but they have already done the damage to the person that I directed them at, and I could never pick them all up again!

There is a verse from the Bible my Aunt Kim shared with me when I was a teenager: Ephesians 4:29.....Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.

She taught me the concept that our words should be a gift...a good gift of encouragement, or a helpful gift of truthfulness....but they should be said in love and grace. One version of this verse even says, "....every word a gift". The King James version says it this way, "...that it may minister grace unto the hearers."

Every time we open our mouths to say something, we make a choice to use our words as arrows that will cause damage, or as gifts that will bless.
There are times when we have to say things that are honest and not actually very pretty, in order to resolve conflict. But I believe that even in those times, we have to be careful how we allow them to exit off our tongue. What is the reason we say them....to bring honesty to a situation, or to cause damage and hurt, because we are angry??

All that being said, this morning, I am sitting in a big pile of someone else's feathers. I have to decide if I am going to sit here in the feathers that were aimed at me, or get up and try to brush off as many as I can?
I have to believe the TRUTH that no matter what anyone else thinks or says....I am abundantly loved!

So, I am going to stand up, pick up all the million little pieces of my heart, and allow God to bring healing.

Whom ever it was that said, "Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me!".....was full of bologna!!

A Weekend in the Mountains

We just got back from our weekend at the cabin...in the mountains!!
On Saturday, Duane and Robb took all the kids (except little Preston) fishing, and so Julie and I had the entire day to ourselves...almost. We talked without "kid interruptions", looked at home decor magazines, watched a movie, went to McCall for lunch, took a nap...just chilled out!
The dads and kids didn't catch a single fish...but reported to have had a wonderful day together!
The weather was moody, but beautiful.
It was a delight to be with our friends, The French's! They are such supportive, inspiring friends! We are blessed to have them in our life!

Crazy Kids!!
The French & Taylor kids

The boys playing "Cowboys"
Tucker & Preston playing in the rocks

Nikki holding a worm...eww!

Drew

Alex, Tucker and Nikki...."worm hunting"

Julie, Tucker and Preston

Nikki...too worn out to go for a walk

Flowers! They were everywhere!

Ash and her Dad!

The Trailhead Cabin

Coming back from the Hot Springs, we saw this rainbow. (we love that house on the hill!)

Gold Fork Hot Springs

Out for a walk on a beautiful morning!

The kids again

The view of the lake from our trail this morning!

Kyra Lenee Patrick

My sweet cousin Kyra is graduating from High School this weekend and I would like to send her buckets of well wishes!

Kyra is the one of the sweetest, cutest, funniest, craziest cousins I have! She is so MUCH younger than me, that she is more like my niece. I love her to pieces!

Kyra, I love you, and am so proud of you!! Congratulations on this accomplishment!!
Spend the rest of your life following God, listening to your heart, and loving others....Oh! and have loads of fun in the process!!
When life gets too hard to stand, get on your knees. And always know that you have a friend in me!

I love you girl!
"Aunt" Sheila

There Are No Words

There are no words to say to relieve pain and soften the blow of tragedy...especially when that tragedy involves a child.
Tonight, Steven Curtis & Mary Beth Chapman are no doubt going through the motions that involve preparing for a funeral for their five-year old daughter, Maria. No doubt they are feeling rather numb and the ache feels more than impossible to bear.
Tonight, their son, who was driving the vehicle that killed his little sister, is no doubt suffering a pain that I have never felt, and never want to feel!
All day, my heart has ached for this family. They are celebrities in the Christian Music Industry, but that doesn't make them any less human.
My prayer for the Chapman's tonight, is that they will feel the Most High wrap his arms around them and hold them close to his heart. I pray that their son will have people around him who can bear him up in this time of deep pain and loss.

I read this verse today on Beth Moore's blog, and rejoiced in the truth of it:

"...They will be His people, and God Himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.'" Revelation 21:1-4

I looked at my children again today through the eyes of intense gratefulness, that for this moment, I have them to hold.

My Caravan Scouts

Alex and Nikki had their closing ceremony for Caravans last night.
Caravans is a Nazarene scout program that teaches kids about being good citizens, having good character, learning important life skills and weaves teaching about God into all of it. My kids love all the fun, creative things they learn and do....Duane and I love it, because while learning about life they are also being taught more about Jesus...and that is a very good thing!

Alex's class, the Pathfinders, was led by Brian and Nicole Bohner. I must say, they did an amazing job!! Brian is just a big kid himself...and Alex thought he was the greatest!

Nikki's class, the Hunters, was led by Karl and Dena Abel. Karl and Dena love children, and it shows...big time!! Nikki couldn't wait to get to Caravans every week!

Alex received the Faithful Medal for only missing once, and Nikki received a medal for Perfect Attendance (you would have thought that she had won the Olympics!).

Duane and I want to say a HUGE "thank you" to all of the people who invest in the lives of our children through this program. We are so grateful for you!!Nikki and Levi Tilford

The Hunters

Tamara Tilford with her class...the Sentries

Brian and Nichole Bohner...Alex's leaders

Alex reading his report on Archery...Brian Bohner and Josh Tilford

Nikki with her leaders, Karl and Dena...Karl is not an FBI Agent, nor is he blind. He just loves to have fun with those kids!!

Nikki with some of her classmates...Abby, Natalee, Nikki, Levi and Mikaela

Natalee, Nikki and Levi waiting to start

Alex leading the pledge...notice the Bible is upside down :)

Addison, Nikki and Emme

Nikki and Alex with their medals...We are proud of our kids!

Not a Match!

I just came home from running errands all day, and opened up a letter from Mountain States Tumor Institute. It says I am not a close enough match to donate Bone Marrow to the patient with Leukemia.

I feel REALLY sad....I wanted to do this for him. I know that he needs a better match, and that is my prayer now, that they will find one!

I am going to be hosting a bone-marrow registry drive sometime this Summer, and I will give all the details as soon as I have them!

WE ARE DONE!!

It is 2:58 on Monday, May 19th, and we are officially done with school!! The kids dug in and finished three days of schoolwork today, so they are finished!!!

Ashley my beautiful girl, is no longer an 8th grader! She is going to be a freshman next year! The thought of that starts to freak me out....but I refuse to fear what is ahead for her. She is a smart, strong teenager, that makes her parents very proud!

Alex accomplished 5th grade with flying colors. The thought that he is headed for 6th grade is mind-boggling! It is a joy to watch Alex learn a new concept. He lights up like a light bulb and embraces it with all he has!

Nikki and Alyssa are no longer 1st graders. Nikki's response when I told them that they were done was, "YES! I have always wanted to be in 2nd grade!!!!"
These girls did awesome!!

Sheila is exhausted!!!! There are no other words to describe it! I love these kids, but schooling on top of mothering is enough to take a sane woman, and tempt her to run for the hills!
I just did what God asked of me to do, and I will end by saying that He is doing a brand, new work in me, and I am jumping on board with Him!

Thank you Father for your help every single day of this last school year! You showed up in my life faithfully, and I give you all my praise!
Please take my feeble efforts and do as only you can do...make it a good thing!

LET THE SUMMER BEGIN!! The kids are already in the pool!

Renewment, Restoration & Reflection...my weekend!

I have already heard it from some of you, that you are waiting for me to blog about my weekend. I must say, that I am apprehensive about what to say, because I am still processing all the things that I heard from our teacher, Beth Moore, and the many soul searching things that God is speaking directly to me about.

I am a Women's Conference kind-of-a-girl! I love everything about them!! The anticipation of what is to come, the getting away from my "everyday", the being with not only women who are like-minded in the ways of God, but my dearest friends, the "big girl's" sleep-over, the laughter, the tears, the worship and finally the message(s).

This Living Proof LIVE with Beth Moore was no exception! I have read one of her books, but have never had the opportunity to be a participant in one of her Bible Studies. Being a home schooling mom, I don't have the freedom to do daytime Bible studies.
After this weekend, I am going to have to figure out how to get involved in one!

The way that God used His faithful servant, Beth Moore, to share His message was phenomenal! I am serious when I say to you, that I am somewhat overwhelmed! We sat through three intense separate lessons, and I was taking notes as fast as I could write.
I laid awake last night, in a Comfort Inn Suites surrounded by four of my dearest friends, and begged God to not let me miss His word to me!! He spoke directly to me about THE very thing, that I have been tossing around in my heart and head...THE VERY THING!!!

Here are a very few of the statements/points that Beth made that are at this moment in my head, and hopefully making their way into my heart. I share them not to "re-preach" her message, but simply to pass on what I heard.

1. Your extraordinary gift is the way that Almighty God manifests Himself through you.

2. To minimize your gift is not humility, it is sin....the sin of unbelief!

3. It is easier to go through life with pain, than to go through life without purpose.

4. Right there in the intersection of the humanity and the Divine, the common and the Sacred, the crude and the Creator is where a Holy God dwells. That is where your FIRE takes place! Fan your flame!!

5. Satan cannot take your Salvation, but he can take your effectiveness!

6. Your Passion will come from your pain, your Ministry will come from your misery!

7. The enemy wants me to live in fear, he wants my mind...BUT HE IS NOT GOING TO GET IT! As a Child of God I am equipped with POWER, LOVE & A SOUND MIND!!

Isaiah 33:6..God will be my CONSTANT SOURCE of stability!

I gave you a very small taste of what I heard. I may share my thoughts and reflections on these sometime in the future. Right now, I am seeking God about something HUGE, HUGE, HUGE in my life, and based on His word to me...I am equipped for battle!

The worship time this weekend was was led by Travis Cottrell. He was assisted by an awesome worship team! The songs we sang together, took me to the Throne of God, and I found myself bowing before him! What a precious gift to be surrounded by those I hold dear, and together give praise to our Most High!

Mom, Jolene, Mother, Talisha, Stephanie, Cher & Debbie (my Paul's and Timothy's)....It was an amazing weekend spent with amazing friends! Thank you to each one of you for "going there with me"! I draw strength from watching your journey with the Master! And I love all of you...A LOT!Cher, Talisha, me, Debbie, Steph

Jolene & Mom at the Cheesecake Factory!

The only picture I got of Beth Moore..she moved around a lot, and my camera wouldn't focus.

(It was not intentional that I did not get a picture of my mother-in-law, Margaret...She was there, and I am not sure why she didn't make it into any of the photos??)

Happy Birthday, Rose!!

"She who finds a faithful friend, finds a beautiful treasure!"

I have been blessed to find a friend in Rose! She and I have been friends for what seems like forever!! I can't imagine life without her!!

Rose and I have walked many wonderful paths together: becoming new mommies (five times over)...sending our oldest girls off to kindergarten, and then going out for donuts so we wouldn't be too sad...going on Women of Faith trips...starting up a Landscaping Business with our husbands...finding a wonderful church...and many more!

But we also have walked rough roads together: Finding out that our husbands were in an awful vehicle accident...standing together in the ER for what felt like an eternity, not knowing if they were ok...weeping over problems/situations that we had no answers for...encouraging each other to keep going, even when it felt like we couldn't take another step...becoming mothers of teenagers....

What I have learned, is that the rough times have only made us stronger!! We have been there and back...and we can make it through anything!!!

Rose, you are a faithful friend!! I am so thankful that you walked into our church almost fourteen years ago...but I am even more grateful to God that He brought us together as friends!!

I pray that on your birthday, you will feel loved and that you will know that you are a beautiful person..inside and out!!

Happy Birthday, dear friend!

Congratulations, Justin and Crystal!!

I want to congratulate my two cousins, Crystal Patrick and Justin Aman on their College Graduations this month!!
Justin and Crys are much younger than me, and I feel more like an aunt to them than a cousin, but I love them both so much! They are great people!
They were both in our wedding, and I thought it would be fun to share this picture of them!

I am so proud of you and I love you both!!!!

Leadership Luau

Tonight we had the pleasure of attending a special dinner at our church for all small group and ministry leaders. The dinner for 200, was hosted by the church board and staff.

The theme was Leadership Luau. We were treated to a traditional Hawaiian meal of shredded pork, sticky rice, macaroni salad, fruit, sweet bread....it was divine!

We heard several reports from board members about how God has helped our church to recently become completely 100% debt free!!
We participated in the mortgage burning ceremony, and rejoiced with our church family!

John Cotner and Betty Cunningham spent a considerable amount of time sharing live personal testimonies about how God is using Boise First Commmunity Center to show Jesus to a lost world. We listened with tears flowing to a young boy from Anchor Bay tell us how he shared Jesus with a friend at school, and then invited him to play in UpWards sports, where he eventually asked Jesus into his heart! (our kids are learning how to show and share Jesus...and nothing makes me more excited than that!!) We heard a report from Pastor Kenny and the Teen Dept. about how God is making a huge difference in the lives of the teen population. It was exciting!

We then listened to Pastor Darrel, as he shared with us God's vision for BFCC. We are now challenged to jump on the band wagon as our church "steps it up" in reaching a lost world for Christ! We heard more testimonies about how God has been using our church to be a hospital for those who are wounded.....desperate for the love of Jesus and a safe place to mend.
We surrounded our Pastor and prayed for God to guide him, as he guides us. It was a meaningful time of prayer!

We are so thankful for our church!! It was God who led us to Boise First Nazarene, and tonight, we again have the confirmation that He is ready to do amazing things in our life, and the lives of our church family!

Marc & Talisha Taylor

Julie French & I

Duane ...looking good Babe!

Ministry leaders going to lay a copy of the PAID IN FULL mortgage in the fire pit

Jeff Harvey, burning the mortgage!!!

Pastor Darrel Wiseman....sharing his heart!

John Cotner (right) interviewing Pastor Kenny (left) about the teens!

Friends....Duane, Sheila, Robb, Julie, Talisha and Marc

Marc, Talisha, Joanne, Pastor Darrel, Duane and Sheila

Marc and Talisha with a wonderful guy...Executive Pastor, Terry Martin.

What a great night!!!